I want my $10 back: Worst movies of the 2010

So this year I went and saw a lot of movies, and boy did they irritate the crap outta me, here’s my ranting.

Dear Producers,

I’m billing you for $10, $13 for the ones you thought was necessary to show in 3D (which it really wasn’t), and add another 5 for the gas I wasted traveling there.

Beware, there be spoilers

 

Toy Story 3:The movie that “should have made me cry”

Andy is 17 years old, about to go to college, still has his toys around. Hey Andy, maybe if you started playing Call of Duty: Black Ops, then you’d have friends and would have dumped those toys off to a Goodwill. Why was this third movie necessary? To boost Ken doll sales? My second problem is, why is everyone crying at the end, because the 17 year old wised up and realized “hey, I need to get a 360 and give these toys to a little ass kid”. Seriously, you’re supposed to cry at the beginning of a Disney movie (i.e. Mufasa dying!), if you want a cry-able ending to a Disney movie go watch Old Yeller.

 

 

Inception: The movie that would have been “even more awesome if Heath Ledger was in it”

So every now and then you’ll see a scene within a movie or show, in which a character will have a dream within a nightmare within a dream within a dream, and so on and so forth until they finally wake up in the real world. Well guess what? Someone went a made a damn movie about that. and not anyone, but the guy who directed The Joker, I mean The Dark Knight (after all, he’s done nothing else). Why did I pay $10 to see this? The trailers had no explanation as to what this movie was about, and when I see it, it’s about dreaming. Let me get this straight, I paid $10 to see things I do for free? That’s the American way alright.

 

 

The Social Network: The creator of Facebook “is an asshole, but let me let everyone on his website know first”

Hey, I love Facebook as much as the next guy, but here we have Mark Zuckerberg trying to make his way through life, but he’s interrupted by a bunch of college students hating because he’s doing way better than them. I keep hearing how “Mark Zuckerberg was an asshole”, hey NEWSFLASH: It’s called capitalism. I do wish though that if they were gonna make it seem like he created the website to get back at some chick, at least make the chick hotter and worse off in life at the end. I learned not a damn thing from this movie.

 

 

Iron Man 2: Tony Stark vs. his heart (he has one right?), Mickey Rourke with lightsaber whips, the black version of himself, then the same Iron Giant from the last movie, but not alcoholism.

What the hell was this screwfest? I love Marvel characters, in fact Iron Man was one of my favorite characters growing up, and this movie is almost like the first. the only thing that got me excited was the end scene when you see Mjolnir, which isn’t even from the Iron Man lore. Then they went and replaced Terrence Howard with Don Cheadle for the role of James Rhoades. Iron Man gets his ass handed to him by his best friend using his inventions. Talk about the creation killing it’s master. I couldn’t take Whiplash as a villain very seriously, I was expecting dude to start playing jump rope, (Tony Stark seems like a Double Dutch kinda guy). Then get this, Jon Favreau will not be directing Iron Man 3. AHHHHHHHHHH I give up.

 

I’m not done complaining, but all this ranting is making me sick.

I’m the Speechless Gab Dork and I live at……..

 

 

 

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2 Responses to “I want my $10 back: Worst movies of the 2010”

  1. I loved all of these movies

  2. […] The Speechless Gab Dork and finally the quiet man talks « I want my $10 back: Worst movies of the 2010 […]

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